It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
