Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
More tranny stories later!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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