How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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