found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What a dumb baby whore.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
