So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
