You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
