Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
