I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
