She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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