My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
