The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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