Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize