why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
