you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
