Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize