no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Randomize
