Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
