So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
