And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
