he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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