i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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