Whod you bang
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
