The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
