I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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