please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
