Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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