What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
