your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
