The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
