she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize