Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
