She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
