I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
