Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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