we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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