are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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