He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
