The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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