You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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