I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
