She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
