He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
