So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize