Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
