y did u give ur computer a hand job?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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