Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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