She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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