i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just cropdusted the office
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
