I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
