From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
