Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
