he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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