Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
