the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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