I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
