You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
