No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
