she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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