that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
