Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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