Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
