quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
