I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize