Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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