all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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