Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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