i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
