So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
