my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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