Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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