brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
