They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
