look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
