I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize