I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize