yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize