i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
