ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
